Do you know the pain of being in a Girls’ college? No? OK! So I will tell you how it feels to be with 1000s of estrogen-charged species all the time.
But first of all, I would like to thank God for making me a girl – The hotter or better, say the hottest sex on the planet. Yeah, I know this is not about me, but the Seven types of Delhi Boys. Take a chill pill, I am getting there.
Now, if you are a guy then you will lose all your saliva just by imagining a place filled with girls. But being a girl, college just helped me in preserving all my hormones below freezing point.
That is not all, apart from studying in a girl’s college, I have to live in a girls’ PG, spending all my nights and days with my beautiful room-mates and thanks to the Delhi metro, it provides me with a ladies’ coach, which I can stare at all kind of women ranging from a lipstick-smooched-white-like-a-tube light lass to an I-am-fat-and-I-am-proud-of-it aunty.
Anyway, the article isn’t about my pain in being in all-woman spaces. It’s actually a treat to all the guys I have noticed till now and looking forward to noticing, whenever and wherever I will get time. Now, time to objectify and generalize MEN! 😉
The wait is over here is the list.
Seven types of Delhi Boys – You’ll Find around Delhi
#1 YO-YO Boys
They are the funniest, most annoying, and most wannabe species, all at the same time. They are big fans of I-AM-THE-COOLEST-YO! Douche lord YO! YO! Honey Singh. They remember all the lyrics of his songs at their fingertips.
They consider every girl to be characterless but show no shame while chasing the same girl. Suffering from “cool as a dead meat syndrome”, they are usually dumb and tall and broad and always go by your dress, the shorter it is the more pleasure their pea-sized brain attains.
They hate Justin Bieber. They love p-o-r-n.
#2 Dudes
Spikes, Unbuttoned Check shirt with a cool t-shirt inside, Earphones in, converse shoes, baggy jeans, and here you go! Your cool dude is ready! He is the Indian counterpart of western rappers.
They don’t actually rap and be abusive all the time but they carry this look all the time. And they may look arrogant and unapproachable but in most cases, they are the most friendly of all and ready-to-help-you-ma’m kind of gentlemen.
They hate Justin Bieber. They love porn.
#3 Bhaiyya Ji
Generally come from outstation, if you know what I mean. Their Micromax carries all the 90’s chartbusters ranging from “Jeeta tha jiske liye, jiske liye marta tha. Wo aisi ladki thi, jise mai pyar karta tha to choli ke piche kya hai, choli ke niche kya hai”.
The latest song you can hear on their mobile is ‘rani tu mai raja’. And the only English song they have ever heard is “I wanna fuck you” by Akon.
They have longer hair than most guys and they can carry faded jeans with pride, they talk to girls politely on their faces and measure their cup size when they are gone. Some of them come in the category of “Roadside Romeos”.
They have never heard of Justin Bieber but they will hate him if he will ever comes across. They love porn.
#4 JNU Types
Generally armed with an unkempt beard, they hardly care about their clothing or your clothing. Don’t you ever confuse them with any Naxalites or Maoists after looking at them? Since they all look like chaperons of the proletariat, they are always talking about capitalism, communism, secularism, and all such kind of brainy outdated bullshitism existing in the world.
They don’t like bimbos but if beauty has been thrust upon you, they will consider you, since they are boys after all!
They hate Justin Bieber. And they love porn.
#5 IITians
These IDIOTS know that girls like them, no matter how nerdy and geeky they are. They generally wear spectacles and are gentle to women, at least on their faces. And they are good for you if you like weird mechanical gifts for yourselves.
They have no time for you since they are already married to machines, concrete, and/or books of various kinds. But the plus point is that you can expect loyalty from them. [1]
#6 UPSC candidates
The next types of Delhi Boys on this list are UPSC aspirants. They have traded all their testosterone in order to become IAS. They have grown into “men from boys” and “uncles from men” in chase of that elusive holy grail. All they know is everything.
They can tell you when and where Babur died and if they are appearing for the third time, chances are they can tell you the time of his death in exact minutes and seconds.
Leave them coz they will leave you anyway if you will disturb them in studying.
#7 One-in-a-million Guy*
They are polite, gentle, understanding, respectful, and will listen to you. These guys are either working with some decent organization or studying humanities in some decent college.
They know how to make you happy and they never give you a chance to feel sad. Also, they can listen to Justin Bieber and leave watching porn just for you. In short, they don’t exist!
So, you see these 7 kinds of boys you can find in Delhi. They are like VIBGYOR (7 colors of the rainbow), each having its own taste and flavor. I won’t ask you to go for ‘such’ and ‘such’ guys coz this is not what we do. Boys, themselves come after us. You just “choose” or “reject”.
HAPPY “BEING GIRL”! 😀
[ *We tend to put the guys of the category into that special zone we have created. The FriendZone ]
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