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I Understood My Mother, When I Became a Mother

Motherhood is one of the most important lessons of my life. After I became a mother of a little princess, I learned and experienced the true meaning of motherhood.

The unconditional love, care, happiness, anxiety and above all a smile on her baby’s face is what a mother cherishes throughout this special journey. It made me realise the importance and value of my mother. In fact, I salute all the other mothers over there who work so hard to raise their little ones.

My Strength, My Mother (I Understood My Mother, When I Became a Mother)

My Strength, My Mother

After I became a mother, my mind was puzzled with a lot of questions related to parenting, raising children and siblings. I used to wonder how my mother would have raised me along with my younger brother despite her job, joint family etc. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and with a smile on my face, started to recollect memories of my childhood and school days.

Back in school, there were a lot of extracurricular activities around the year like Inter-house school plays, fete, sports day, annual function etc. These demanded extra practice sessions, time and effort for the students as well as parents and to be more precise mothers. But my mother encouraged me to participate and attend all these events.

Pictures of the Annual Concert

Pictures of the Annual Concert

I remember my school days when, during the interval, my friends used to appreciate my lunchbox and say “Aunty se bolna alloo ka paratha bahut tasty hai”(tell aunt potato paratha is very tasty). I don’t remember a day without tiffin in my school life. After class tenth, I was introduced to macaroni and bread in my tiffin. But now I wonder and realise how did she manage all that with so many other responsibilities???Did she have some supernatural power or some extra pair of hands/legs? The answer to all these questions was that, she was a Mother and always gave her best foot forward. . All those audio-visual advertisements  featuring mothers with eight hands make perfect sense now.

At the time of my annual examinations my mother used to get panicked and desperately wake me up at 4 am to revise my lessons. She stood there with me till I completed all my projects and assignments. I was poor in Maths. It was my most disliked subject. I used to struggle and cry while doing Maths assignments. She also cried many times for me. Then her new mission was to search for a good Maths teacher. She found one and I started with my Maths tuition. After my coming back from tuition she used to serve mouth-watering snacks as if I had done something exceptional. Luckily her trick worked and with the help of Maths teacher and my mother I passed my Maths exam with flying colours.

From morning till night my mother used to slog and do everything which I and my brother wished. I disliked arhar ki daal (yellow lentil) which I guess was often cooked in every middle-class household. Whenever my mother cooked it for us- ,straightaway I used to say, “Again yellow daal! I will not eat. At that moment, I didn’t realise how much it would have hurt her. I can relate to such emotions today when I cook food with lots of energy and love for my daughter and she doesn’t eat.

There were days when many a times my friends organised combined studies and sometimes I was also invited to birthday parties. At certain occasions it got late and I forgot to call at home. On these occasions, my mother was accustomed to getting worried and calling my friends moms. It somehow made me feel a little uncomfortable with my friends, but now I feel that expecting a phone call or message from your child was not too much. Now being a mother, I can discern, how it would have made her feel when her child was out of home or to an unknown place and she had not been able to get in touch with her.

Parents scold, show anger, get worried, feel excited and all these emotions come naturally because they wish best for their children. But I didn’t realise these things when I was a teenager. I empathise and understand her completely after I became a mother.

Now, I am anxious and concerned about my child’s future. I am also worried about the fact that how will I carry such huge responsibility and task of being a strong mother and giving best to my child

Changes have happened in me over a period of time after I became a mother. I still remember my mother running from the kitchen to the wash room to the dining room the whole day to accomplish various tasks. I used to ask her, what are you doing? Can’t you take some rest? When will your chores complete? Giving a smirk, she would say you will get to know everything the day you become a mother.

Indeed she was correct. I have seen a lot of changes in myself. There is a list of things that have changed within me after I became a mother.

Things that have Changed within Me After I Became a Mother

#1 Less Lazy, More Active

I was the opposite before baby came into my life. I slept for long duration and was very particular about my sleep. After all, who doesn’t love sleeping?  But after I became a mother my focus shifted to baby’s sleep and healthy routine.

#2 Critical Thinking

Critical Thinking

Critical Thinking

After getting evolved as a mother, I found myself engaged in serious conversations related to baby’s future. For example, are educational institutions safe despite heavy school fee structure? How good and feasible, home-school concept can be?. Which school is best and why? Which school focuses on overall development of a child? How to save for baby’s admission and future studies and the list goes on. I am on my way to become a perfect critical thinker.;-)

#3 Improving Habits

Habits form our behaviour and are repetitive in nature. Babies are fast learners and imitate their parents and peers. In the long run it’s beneficial to practice and give up some habits which we think are undesirable. For example, I try to avoid excess use of technology (television, mobile phone, laptop) in-front of my toddler.

#4 Time Management

Time Management

Time Management

Initially I used to crib about me not getting enough time for myself. But after I became a mother, I have started setting priorities, working on schedules and following discipline and routine in order to manage time and work.

#5 Health is Wealth

Take Care of Your Health

Take Care of Your Health

Health is very important. From the time I became a mother, I am vigilant towards my own health. I wish to be fit and healthy because then only I would be able to take care of my little one.

#6 Home Cooked Foods

Home Cooked Food

Home Cooked Food

I loved junk food and eating outside but from the time of conception, I started eating and believing that homemade food is the best. I prepare food for my little one and don’t want her to rely on junk at least in the early foundation years.

#7 Hygiene and Cleanliness

Presently, I am more concerned towards cleanliness and personal hygiene than I ever was.  As soon as I come home I wash my hands and change my clothes. I also make my little one wash her hands.

#8 Patience

Patience is the Key to Success

Patience is the Key to Success

Babies are very good learners, they observe, listen and imitate very quickly. You need to have a lot of patience while dealing with your little one. I always try to put a smile on my face while I interact with my baby.

Summing It Up

This was a tribute to my mother and mother in law, that I have tried to express through my personal experiences as a daughter, daughter in law and now a mother.  I talk, chat and laugh with my mothers but some feelings and thoughts I have failed to convey to them till date. I thought this is the best platform to express my gratitude to them and let them know that they are special in every way.

Can you relate to any of the above points? How has motherhood changed you? Do you feel that being a mother has strengthened your relation with your mother like never before? I’m sure there are lot many more things that I might have missed here. Don’t hesitate to share your thoughts with us in the comments section below. It would be  great to see how you all feel about this subject.

Happy Motherhood!

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    1. Utkarsh Tewari

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