Caged in a room, untidy hair/eyebrows, belly protruding outwards, nursing wear most of the time, sleepy eyes, painful body parts, hunger pangs in every three to four hours and no time to check out in the mirror- that’s the definition of a first time mother. Same applies to the newly arrived baby. Having stayed for nine months in mother’s womb (considered as the safest place), tiny tot finds it difficult to get accustomed to milk, bath, oil-massage, clothes, temperature (cold and hot), new climate and environment.
First time motherhood is an eye opening experience of life with so many hormonal changes accompanied by a lot of mood swings anytime. As the time passes, the bond between the two grows stronger. Twenty four hours are less because thousands of new tasks are lined up. For instance massage sessions, breastfeeding sessions after every two hours, cleaning pee and poop n number of times a day. In this vicious circle, mommy is lost somewhere. Not only independence and mobility are curtailed but leisure time, long sleeping hours, work, parlour, parties, movies, hanging out with friends, shopping and travelling, almost everything comes to a halt.
It’s difficult to cope up with self and almost every moment feels like giving up. Every day I used to fall down in spirit but I watched inspirational videos over internet, talked to my favourite bunch of people and cheered up myself. After all this is what life is all about. Isn’t it?
I used to read about motherhood experiences and parenting journeys in various blogs, and parenting apps. Also, I invested time in reading a lot of motivational and inspirational content from internet and books which boosted my self esteem and confidence. Some of the top advises highlighted below are from my own experience and motherhood journey:
Top 9 Advices for First Time Mother
#1 Celebrate Motherhood
For many, it may have been a cakewalk to conceive or to become a mommy, but for some it can take up-to ten to twelve years to conceive or have a child. The reasons may be frequent miscarriages, modern day lifestyle, stress, personal health and fitness etc. So, enjoy your first time motherhood phase with your little one. Babies tend to grow very fast. These special moments of life will never comeback. And it is a very special phase to bond with your baby.
#2 Live for The Present
It’s very important to live for today. Life is full of uncertainties and nobody knows what is in store the very next moment. A first time mother should be grateful to lord for its glory and count his favours and gifts .Having an attitude of thankfulness makes tough times easy. Those who helped you in your difficult times and tough situations should always be thanked and acknowledged and should never be forgotten.
#3 Be Optimistic
For a first time mother, it’s very important to keep patience and be optimistic. Many times we have heard, read and seen people facing post-partum depression. The major reason for depression is negative attitude. Attitude makes all the difference in our lives and factors that determine our attitude are (environment, experience and education). If we keep reflecting on our past, blame our present situation and not accept changes, we are bound to be discontent and unhappy.
#4 Accept Responsibilities
It’s very important to accept responsibility in all spheres of life. As soon as first time mother accepts responsibilities of her/his child, she is accountable for himself/herself and no task is a burden. Advisable approach is to find solutions instead of problems.
#5 Follow Your Passion
Many mothers take sabbatical, switch careers or leave their respective jobs to spend quality time with their babies. This gives immense opportunities to the new mommy to follow her passion. If you are passionate about something then this is the perfect time to start working upon it. It could be dance, photography, cooking, baking, music, art, creative writing, yoga, meditation, martial arts and the list goes on… For example, I have seen a lot of mothers who take tuition classes; some are exceptionally good in baking and take party and birthday orders; some are passionate about dancing and teach dance to children for various school and cultural festivals etc.
#6 Keep Connected with Old Friends & Colleagues
It’s very important to stay connected with old friends and colleagues through phone or social media (LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter). It’s good to share conversations, ask for opinions, experiences, consult for advice, meet or plan get-together. No matter where you are in your life, old friends and colleagues are always there and you can always get back to them.
#7 Healthy Environment
There are three types of environment- home, social and economical. If family members are positive, appreciate each other, take care of each other’s needs, share household burden and responsibilities- the environment ought to be positive and healthy which has a positive influence on one’s attitude. Therefore, a first time mother should be with positive bunch of people, listen to senior mommy’s success stories related to motherhood/childcare and learn from their experiences which can be of great help.
#8 Time Management
If you want time for yourself you have to manage and learn how to multitask. New mommy should make proper schedule and routine for herself and baby. When I decided to utilise my time productively, I started writing down my experiences and reading books. I made my time table and found that, I spent three to four hours chatting and talking over phone, sleeping and watching videos. Then I started cutting down on those. If you take out two hours for yourself, it will make difference in your lives and would refresh you for the rest of the day.
#9 While Taking Care of your Baby, Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself
Easier said than done but it’s challenging for a new mother to take care of herself when little one is the centre of attention, but by managing time, asking for help from partner, sharing responsibilities together etc., a lot of things can be done to keep yourself happy. For example, go for shopping/online shopping, dress yourself, hit the gym, go for walk etc.
Wrapping it Up
I wish what I learnt during my postpartum days would help other moms-to-be. Initially feeling distressed and troubled is natural, but as the weeks and months pass on, you’ll gain confidence, understand baby routine, and will get accustomed handling baby and family together. Moral support, healthy conversations and sharing your problems, from better half would make the relationship grow stronger.
If you find this article relevant spread it with your friends, colleagues, and mothers-to-be. It would be my pleasure to hear from all the mommies out there. You may also like to check out my previous article about Normal Delivery, check that out.