We may hate Monday but there’s no escaping it.
Since most of our time is spent at offices only, it’s important to recognize the most common types of ASSHOLISH coworkers in Indian setups.
In every workplace, there are different types of employees. In my office, this is no different. There are seven types of coworkers you’ll find in offices.
They are the lazy leech, the TATTIs, the perv, the no. 1 office chutiya, the ostrich, the warmonger, and the gαи∂υ. Each one brings something different to the workplace and can either make or break your day.
From “Lazy Leech” to “Warmonger”: The Unique Types of Coworkers You’ll Find in Indian Offices
It’s no secret that Indian offices are filled with a variety of characters. From the bossy ladies who run the show to the guys who are always trying to get ahead, there’s no shortage of personality types in these workplaces.
Here are just a few of the different types of coworkers you’ll find in Indian offices:
The Bossy Feminist
This coworker is always demanding attention and telling everyone what to do. She’s usually the one in charge, and she likes it that way.
If you’re looking for someone to take charge and get things done, this is the coworker for you. Just be prepared to be bossed around a bit!
The Lazy Leech
Someone who fends off others’ work. They may / may not be stupid but are DAMN lazy and always look towards others for bailing them out.
If you ever have this person on your team, NEVER even try getting them to do some work because they won’t.
Save your energy and just hatch some Goddamn plan to get these people kicked out of your team at least, if not the office.
The Aggressive Team Talk Initiator … or TATTI
TATTI is hell annoying in the way that his / her favorite word is ‘team’.
TATTI always has one solution for every issue facing the company (even CEO’s constipation) and that is TEAMWORK – Form a team, brainstorm, and eventually, take credit for everything positive.
TATTI will never give a solution by themselves but will always want to form a team. Avoid TATTI at all costs otherwise, this one will make your ass and brain bleed.
The Perv
Self-explanatory. He talks and behaves like he is having a constant boner and is capable of thinking only from down there. Prized ability? To convert ANY talk into a perv-talk. Sample this:
Assistant Chick: Sir, should I order tea?
PERV: Yea, I like it with … milk… if you know what I mean.
Assistant Chick: Chutiya sala.
The No. 1 Office Chutiya
Someone who is a total moron and exists in the company only because of contacts with someone high above.
This person has an IQ less than that of a mentally-challenged ant and can’t do shit.
Their only purpose is to ruin others’ works and projects because of incredible stupidity. God help you if you ever find them in your team.
The Ostrich
A person who always looks forward to avoiding any semblance of responsibility whatsoever.
They will never shy away from loading their juniors with work but will never be there when needed the most.
If there is a hint of confrontation, they are the first ones to scuttle away and rise only because of their remarkable ability to lick superiors’ asses shiny clean.
The Warmonger
Opposite of the Ostrich, they are the chief warlords. They are constantly disgruntled and will argue no matter what. If you choose Ronaldo, they’ll side with Messi and vice versa.
They often roam around with their cronies who somehow think that the “angry young attitude” is “cool” and are the ones who always get fucked first when the company decides to downsize.
Gossip And Needless Dialogue Upstarter … or, gαи∂υ
One of your colleagues in HR comes up to you and tells you that you need not worry as the company has an anti-discrimination policy against gays and that you won’t be fired.
Instead of feeling reassured, you will be batshit shocked to learn that everyone believes you are gay.
Yep, the GANDU strikes again! This person knows everything happening around the office.
Worse, they make up shit against people and before you know it, you are the one who is fucking the new intern without even knowing it.
I am sure you have met with all types of coworkers mentioned in this post. Each one has its own quirks and it’s up to you to decide which type you can tolerate and which type you can’t.
Is there any other “unique” type of coworker you want to add to this list? Share your encounter in the comments below.
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