Welcome to the Indian Society. Here, we worship women. Bharat Mata, Cow is our mother, India is our motherland.
AND we blame women for everything, from bad driving to being rape victims.
Double standards? Misogyny? Patriarchy? No… No… No!
To survive respectfully in Indian society, a woman has to be a certain way. Patriarchy defines an ideal Indian woman in a misogynist way to “be accepted”.
Just Google the keyword “how to become an ideal Indian woman” or “how to be a perfect Indian woman“, and you will be surprised to see the results.
You will find 100s of articles that will tell you the “ideal Indian woman characteristics” or “the good qualities of an Indian woman” or “tips to follow to become a decent Indian woman” and so on.
Here are some “excerpts” [on how to become perfect Indian women], you can find examples of it around you or on the internet.
There is no one definitive checklist to becoming a perfect Indian woman. However, there are some key characteristics and qualities that are essential for every Indian woman aspiring to achieve this goal. Some of these include:
– being fair and quiet is good,
– having good habits and manners is a plus,
– well-trained in cooking is charry on the top,
– having no opinions and studying only to have a degree, not a job is enough for you,
– be respectful, cultured and carry the privilege of maintaining family’s dignity.Though there may be some variations depending on individual preferences and circumstances, these traits are generally considered to be representative of the ideal Indian woman. Achieving this level of perfection is not easy, but it is definitely worth striving for. Every Indian woman should aspire to become the best possible version of herself, incorporating as many of these qualities as possible into her life.
Seriously?
Does the Indian woman still need to be defined by the Patriarchy?
WTF, it’s 2022!
I am not against the people who write such content, they write because “we” look for it.
Here I am with a tutorial on how to be the perfect woman for the so-called “Indian society”.
How to Become “THE” Ideal Indian Woman [Ultimate Checklist]
Are you “the” perfect Indian woman? Do you know what it takes to be a perfect Indian woman? Check out this checklist to make sure you have everything covered!
#1. Your Clothes Define Your Character
If you’re showing skin, you’re doing it wrong! If you’re showing knees, you’re slutty! You are not entitled to wear what pleases you. NO!
You’re a Bhartiya Naari. Wear traditional outfits or you’re asking to get raped.
The more covered you’re, the less provocative you’re.
#2. Curfew – Know Your Limits
Don’t step out after 6:00 PM. Don’t step out during the day or in the dark unaccompanied. Don’t explore. Don’t go to too many places.
If you do, you’re just looking for trouble. It isn’t the pervert’s fault. It’s yours!
Run by the clock. Only binding by the curfew can give you the title of the perfect Indian woman.
#3. Two Skin Colors – Fair and Undesirable
You can NOT be dark. According to fairness cream commercials, no one will marry you or give you a job unless you’re white as milk.
So if you’re even one shade down on one of those shade cards they have, go shower in milk and stock up on fairness cream.
Remember those Indian fairness cream ads? Once you become fair, your life becomes more of a fantasy.
You’re showered with compliments, the job you want, and of course the guy you want. You have suddenly become capable and desirable.
#4. Smiling While Talking Is Questionable
How dare you talk to a guy with a smile on your face! How dare you compliment him!
No! You can’t do that! That’s flirting! That’s against the Indian Sanskaars!
First of all, you shouldn’t talk to a guy until it’s urgent. Secondly, when you do talk, don’t talk while wearing a smile.
Because apparently, you don’t have emotions and talking with a straight face is an ideal thing to do!
#5. Good Habits Make A Good Woman
Drinking is totally out of the question. “You drink? But you’re a girl!
You SMOKE? OMIGOSH! But you’re a girl! How can you !!”
Umm. Really? We never realized that!
If you do that, you’re losing your character. You give the right to people around you to define your character. It’s only logical, that if you drink or smoke, you’d also be ready to share a bed with anyone.
Even if the men in your house drinks in front of you, all you must do is serve them. Their character will remain intact but yours might get tainted.
Watch your food habits because if you put on weight, you might lose the title of the perfect Indian women.
#6. Cooking – A Talent You Need to Master
You have to know how to cook. Every single dish. If you can’t make round rotis, you’re asking to be shunned. “Who wants to make aloo gobhi when you can bend it like Beckham”.
You are not a complete woman if you’re not a chef who is ready to work for free.
Don’t waste your time becoming a better employee, a better person, or better anything, just focus on feeding your family.
If you can’t cook, your family might die of hunger. Because obviously, men in any household can’t cook their own food.
#7. Having Opinions is like Backtalking! Period.
Opinion? How dare you have one!
Your opinions don’t matter. So shut up and learn something that’ll help you in life find a suitable groom. Because that’s what really matters!
Follow these and you’re golden.
#8. Prepare for a Job with No Salary or Respect
If you want to be an ideal Indian woman, embrace this job offer that comes with your gender and work till your last.
Fulfill your responsibility by cleaning, cooking, and looking after others 24/7. No, we’re not asking you to be a domestic maid. We’re asking you to be a maid ‘without pay’.
Be ever ready to serve a guest, cook anytime for a family member, eat after everyone eats if the hunger pangs hit you hard, remember the medicine routines of the elderly, listen to complaints about boring food, unkempt house. Sounds like a dream job, ain’t it?
A perfect Indian woman (your mother) will prepare you for this job from your childhood. Practice makes a man woman perfect.
#9 Beware with Your Mannerisms
Remember the golden rule: Control your emotions. Don’t express!
Don’t laugh too loud, just smile. Don’t sit with legs apart. Don’t talk much. Talk softly. Keep feeling shy for no reason.
Take note of your tone when you talk because if someone gets offended, you are not a good girl anymore. Stay away from cuss words. Men may have the birthright to use them when they are agitated but you don’t.
#10 Get a Degree but Don’t Insist on a Job
Study all you want till your marriageable age. But do not make a fuss about using that knowledge and getting a job.
No matter how good your education is, a good husband will be able to provide for you well. A good husband is not only a provider but also a protector.
This means that when you become a wife, you need to focus on being a good one and helping your husband to protect his family instead of working outside of the home.
#11. Carry the Privilege of Maintaining Family’s Dignity
Whatever you do, everything is going to affect your family’s dignity. No matter what men in your household, as far as family’s respect is concerned, it’s on you!
Fail in any of the above and you will bring shame to your family’s name.
When you make decisions, don’t think of your happiness, things you want to do, just focus on what will apparently maintain your family’s name.
Yaa! that’s what perfect Indian women should do.
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We hope we have put some sense into you with this totally illogical checklist. Don’t forget to share the list to enlighten and help your friends advance (backward) in life.
It is high time that “The” Ideal Indian Woman should start thinking about how to change it? how to break it?
Quickly tell us in the comments which one of the perfect Indian woman qualities you struggle the most with!
Let’s use the comment section to share our pains!